An Introduction to Parts Work & a Meditation to Connect With Your Inner Self
How to use your parts to access Self.
Understanding Parts Work
Have you ever felt like different parts of yourself were in conflict with themselves?
For example, maybe one part of you feels excited about a new opportunity, while another part is worried about failure.
Or, one part of you wants to relax on the couch, but another part insists on getting through your to-do list.
These inner dialogues are totally normal and are a reflection of the many parts within you.
In Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, these different aspects of ourselves are referred to as IFS therapy parts.
Parts therapy and parts work helps you recognize, understand, and care for these parts, fostering a sense of inner harmony.
When these parts work together, you experience balance and well-being.
But, when they are in conflict or carry unresolved burdens, you may feel stuck, anxious, or overwhelmed.
When these parts work harmoniously in balance and work together, we experience ease and well-being.
However, when they are in conflict or carry unresolved burdens, we can feel stuck, anxious, overwhelmed, and disconnected from our true selves.
Types of Parts in IFS
According to IFS, there are three main types of parts:
Exiles:
These parts carry painful emotions, memories, or experiences that we may have pushed away. They often represent younger, wounded parts of ourselves that feel shame, fear, or sadness.
Example: A part that holds the memory of being embarrassed and made fun of in school might be an exile.
Managers:
These parts work to protect us by maintaining control and preventing the exiles’ painful feelings from surfacing.
They often show up as perfectionism, self-criticism, or rigid routines.
Example: The part that insists you finish your work perfectly before you relax is a manager.
Firefighters:
These parts jump in to “put out fires” when an exile’s pain breaks through. Firefighters may use impulsive or distracting behaviors (like overeating, binge-watching, or angry outbursts) to numb or escape distress.
Example: The part that drives you to eat a pint of ice cream after a stressful day is a firefighter.
Self in IFS Therapy
In addition to these parts, IFS recognizes the Self—your core, compassionate, and wise center.
When you are grounded in your Self, you can understand and care for your parts with curiosity and kindness.
An Example of Parts: The Movie Inside Out
A relatable example and visualization of parts work is the animated film Inside Out.
In the movie, the main character, Riley, is guided by different emotions—Joy, Sadness, Anger, Fear, and Disgust—that operate in her mind like distinct “parts.”
Each emotion plays an important role, and the story shows how understanding and integrating these parts leads to balance and emotional health.
Just like Riley, we all have parts that sometimes clash, and learning to listen to them can foster greater well-being.
A Self-Guided Meditation for Parts Work
This guided meditation, based on the Dissociative Table Technique developed by Jessica Downs, will help you meet and understand your parts.
It’s a gentle exercise to explore your inner world, resolve internal conflicts, and build self-compassion.
To begin, find a quiet, comfortable space where you won’t be interrupted. You may want to have a journal nearby to write down any insights after the exercise.
Step 1: Ground Yourself
Begin by closing your eyes or softening your gaze.
Take a few deep breaths, inhaling slowly through your nose and exhaling gently through your mouth.
Feel your body supported by the surface beneath you.
Notice the sensation of your feet on the ground, the weight of your body, and the rhythm of your breath.
When you feel calm and centered, you’re ready to begin.
Step 2: Imagine a Safe Space with a Table
Visualize a space where you feel completely safe and at ease. This space can be indoors or outdoors.
See this space in as much detail as you can. What does it look like? What colors, textures, or sounds are present?
In the center of this space, imagine a table. This table is special—it can be any size, shape, or material that feels right to you.
Take a moment to feel the safety and comfort of this place. When you’re ready, imagine yourself entering this space and settling in near the table.
Step 3: Invite Your Parts to Join You
Reassure yourself that this is a safe space. You are not here to get rid of any parts of yourself.
Instead, you are here to understand and support them.
Gently invite different parts of yourself to join you. These parts may represent different emotions, thoughts, or aspects of your personality.
Allow each part to come forward in its own time. They might sit at the table, stand nearby, or even stay slightly away if that feels safer for them.
As each part arrives, take a moment to notice:
What does this part look like?
How do you feel toward this part?
How does this part feel toward you?
Step 4: Get to Know Your Parts
For each part that shows up, explore these questions:
What is this part’s role or function?
How does this part show up in your life?
What job or task does it perform?
If it didn’t have to do this job, what would it rather do?
What does this part want you to know?
Is there a message or insight this part wants to share with you?
How old is this part?
Does this part feel like it’s connected to a specific time or experience in your life?
Does this part have a name?
You might ask if this part has a name or a way it would like to be identified.
Are there other parts this part feels drawn to or uncomfortable around?
Notice any alliances or tensions between your parts.
Be patient and gentle with yourself.
There’s no rush.
Simply observe and acknowledge whatever comes up.
Step 5: Find Self
Now, imagine the most regulated, calm, and compassionate version of yourself taking a seat at the head of the table. This is your Self—the part of you that holds wisdom, clarity, and the ability to lead with kindness.
Gaze lovingly at all your parts. Let them know that you deeply value their presence, their roles, and their hard work. Assure them that while you’re here to listen to their opinions, seek their support, and consider their feedback daily, you would like to take the lead.
Check in with each part and see if they need anything to feel safe and supported with you in the driver’s seat.
Offer reassurance that they are not being dismissed or ignored—you are simply guiding them toward greater balance and harmony.
Step 6: Closure and Gratitude
When you’re ready to close the meditation, thank each part for showing up and sharing with you today.
Imagine gently tucking each part into a comfortable space where they can rest. Reassure them that they are safe and that you will return to check in with them.
Take a moment to scan the space. Are there any parts that need extra reassurance, or do you want to share something before you leave?
When all your parts feel settled, return your attention to your breath. Slowly, gently, bring your awareness back to the present moment.
Step 7: Reflect
When you feel ready, open your eyes.
Take a few moments to journal about your experience:
Which parts showed up?
What did they share with you?
How did this experience feel for you?
Journaling can help deepen your understanding and integrate the insights you gained.
Final Thoughts
This Parts Work meditation is a powerful tool for self-exploration and emotional healing. By connecting with different aspects of yourself, you create space for greater compassion, understanding, and balance.
Remember, there’s no “right” way to do this exercise—your experience is uniquely yours.
More notes on therapy:
Julie Goldberg is a licensed therapist and the founder of Third Nature Therapy. Her practice focuses on helping individuals better understand their inner world, befriend their nervous system (instead of working against it), and navigate changing relationships. She offers somatic therapy, EMDR intensives, and Ketamine-Assisted Psychotherapy in Brooklyn, NY.