Dealing with Emotionally Immature Parents: A Cultural Shift in Healing
We’re on the precipice of a cultural revolution; do you feel it?
A few months ago, a close friend came to me with a question many of us are familiar with—how to navigate a complicated relationship with an emotionally immature parent. She opened up about how her mother seemed unable to connect on a deeper emotional level, often deflecting conversations toward superficial topics.
My friend wanted to build a more meaningful relationship with her mother but without making her feel attacked or defensive.
She hoped I could recommend a resource that would help.
But, I didn’t have one.
Why Are Resources for Dealing with Emotionally Immature Parents Lacking?
Despite my training in family systems, years of therapy practice, and countless books and podcasts on relationships, particularly the mother-daughter dynamic, I couldn’t pinpoint anything that felt truly relevant to today's generation. So much of what I’ve consumed on the topic seemed outdated or disconnected from the reality of what people today actually need.
Then I had a thought: the most influential voices in mental health—Bessel van der Kolk, Gabor Maté, Esther Perel, to name a few—are from the same generation as the emotionally immature parents we’re trying to understand.
They’ve done incredible work, no question. They've opened the door to conversations that were once taboo.
But they aren't necessarily addressing the real-time challenges millennials and Gen Z are facing when it comes to dealing with emotionally immature parents.
Why?
Because they’re not living through it the same way we are.
Growing Up with Emotionally Immature Parents: A Millennial and Gen Z Struggle
Thanks to trailblazing leaders like Van der Kolk and Maté, millennials are waking up to the importance of emotional intelligence and inner healing. We are more attuned to mental health, and we have access to the tools and language to engage with our emotions in ways that our parents’ generation simply didn’t.
We’re breaking the cycle of placing intellectual intelligence and financial security above all else.
We’ve begun to see through the old paradigm of material wealth as the ultimate goal and are questioning the true cost of "success."
In doing so, we’re moving beyond the constraints of capitalism and striving for something deeper: emotional connection, psychological safety, and overall well-being.
But here’s the rub—this shift creates tension within family dynamics. What our parents’ generation sees as an "attack" on their values, we see as growth.
When we strive for emotional honesty, healing, and authentic connection, it often comes across as challenging to those who were never taught to prioritize these things. The dissonance is real, and the friction it creates is something many of us are grappling with right now.
Recovering from Emotionally Immature Parents: Finding Guidance in New Resources
Back to my friend’s request for resources—at the time, I thought there wasn’t much out there. But then, a client (they always bring the best recommendations) shared an interview with me: Dr. Lindsay C. Gibson on the We Can Do Hard Things podcast.
And let me tell you, it hit home.
Dr. Gibson talks about the impact of growing up with emotionally immature parents in a way that feels current and relevant.
She addresses the pain of being raised by someone who can’t meet you on an emotional level and the cultural shift happening as millennials and Gen Z seek deeper, more conscious lives.
It was the first time I encountered content that spoke directly to what so many of us are experiencing.
The Cultural Revolution of Emotional Growth
This podcast episode confirmed something I’ve been feeling for a while: we are living through a cultural revolution, one that doesn’t have a formal name yet, but it’s happening.
Do you feel it too?
We’re starting to see a collective awareness emerging—one where the importance of emotional intelligence, mental health, and authentic connection is being brought to the forefront.
And while older generations may view this shift as a personal rejection, it’s not.
It’s an evolution.
We’re not just healing ourselves; we’re breaking generational patterns of emotional immaturity.
For more support navigating complex family relationships, check out our resources page, loaded with free tips for living a more conscious life.
More notes on relationships:
Julie Goldberg is a licensed therapist and the founder of Third Nature Therapy. Her practice focuses on helping individuals better understand their inner world, befriend their nervous system (instead of working against it), and navigate changing relationships. She offers somatic therapy, EMDR intensives, and Ketamine-Assisted Psychotherapy in Brooklyn, NY.