Coregulation with Animals: What Pets Can Teach Us About Safety and Connection
Learn how to coregulate with animals for emotional well-being.
Our beloved pets can be more than just companions—they can be powerful tools for emotional regulation and somatic healing.
The way you feel when you’re cuddling with your dog, playing with your cat, or observing any calm animal is a wonderful example of coregulation at work.
But what is coregulation, and can you really co-regulate with animals?
In this post, we’ll dive into what coregulation means, how animals play a role in it, and practical ways to tap into this connection for deeper emotional well-being.
What Is Coregulation?
Coregulation is the process of regulating your nervous system through safe, soothing connections with another living being. Deb Dana, a leading voice in polyvagal theory, describes coregulation as:
"I feel safe with you, you feel safe with me, and our systems can find a way to come into connection in autonomic intimacy."
In essence, coregulation is about shared safety, connection, and calmness between two beings.
It involves mutual cues of safety and presence that allow both nervous systems to sync in a state of ease. While we often think of coregulation in human relationships, animals can also be a profound source of this experience.
Can You Coregulate with Animals?
The answer is a resounding yes! Pets, especially those bonded with their owners, can be powerful co-regulators.
When you cuddle with your dog or cat, their calm state can have a direct impact on your nervous system.
Similarly, your calmness can help your pet feel safe and grounded.
Here are some signs that you are experiencing coregulation with an animal:
Your pet seeks physical closeness, such as cuddling or sitting on your lap.
Both you and your pet seem calm and relaxed in each other's presence.
You notice your breathing slows, your heart rate stabilizes, and your thoughts quiet.
Animals, especially domesticated ones, are highly attuned to human emotions and body language. Their natural instinct to seek comfort, companionship, and safety makes them ideal coregulation partners.
How to Co-Regulate with Your Dog
Dogs, often called humans' best friends, are particularly skilled at picking up on emotional states.
Here’s how you can intentionally engage in coregulation with your dog:
Create Calm Moments: Spend time together in calm, peaceful environments without distractions. This could be relaxing on the couch or taking a slow walk in nature.
Mindful Touch: Gently pet your dog and notice their response. Focus on the warmth of their body, the texture of their fur, and their breathing.
Match Their Rhythm: If your dog is calm and lying down, try matching your breathing to theirs. Let yourself mirror their state of relaxation.
Observe Your Body: Pay attention to the sensations in your body when you’re with your dog. Do you feel your shoulders soften? Is there a sense of ease in your chest or belly?
Consistency: Regularly engaging in these calm moments builds a pattern of connection that you can draw on in times of stress.
Polyvagal Theory and Animals
Polyvagal theory, developed by Dr. Stephen Porges, explains how our autonomic nervous system responds to cues of safety or danger.
It describes three primary states:
Ventral Vagal State (Safety and Connection): When we feel safe, connected, and calm.
Sympathetic State (Fight or Flight): When we experience stress, anxiety, or fear.
Dorsal Vagal State (Shutdown or Freeze): When we feel overwhelmed or disconnected.
Animals can play a key role in activating the ventral vagal state by offering cues of safety.
A calm, friendly animal sends nonverbal signals that communicate, "You are safe here." Their steady breathing, relaxed posture, and presence invites us into connection.
Similarly, your presence can have the same effect on your pet. Dogs, for instance, may relax and seek comfort from their owner when they feel anxious or overstimulated.
The Science Behind Animal-Assisted Coregulation
Research supports the idea that interactions with animals can reduce stress and promote relaxation.
Studies show that:
Petting a dog can lower cortisol levels (the stress hormone) and increase oxytocin (the "bonding hormone").
Animal-assisted therapy has been shown to decrease anxiety and depression.
Dogs can mirror their owners' emotional states, forming a unique bidirectional relationship.
This scientific evidence highlights how animals are not only emotionally comforting but can also influence our physiological state in meaningful ways.
Coregulation Beyond Pets: Expanding Your Somatic Awareness
The feelings of safety and connection you experience with your pet can serve as a barometer for your emotional well-being in other areas of life.
If you forget what safety feels like, spending time with your pet can remind you.
Over time, you can extend this awareness to human relationships, romantic partnerships, friendships, and even self-regulation.
By training yourself to notice subtle somatic cues of connection and safety, you build a stronger, more attuned nervous system.
Coregulation as a Tool for Human Relationships
Learning to coregulate with animals can improve your ability to connect with others. When you track the feeling of safety and ease you experience with your pet, you create a somatic map of what it feels like to be in safe connection.
This awareness can help you recognize coregulation in your human relationships.
Questions to ask yourself in human interactions:
Do I feel the same sense of ease that I do with my pet?
Can I relax my body and be present in this interaction?
Does this relationship invite a sense of calm and connection?
If the answer is "yes," it's likely a sign of coregulation and safety.
If "no," simply notice without judgment.
Coregulation is a practice that takes time and awareness.
Animals as Co-Regulation Partners
Our pets do more than bring us joy; they are intuitive co-regulation partners who can teach us what safety, connection, and ease feel like in our bodies.
By paying attention to these moments of coregulation, you can strengthen your ability to foster meaningful, safe relationships with both animals and humans.
So, the next time your dog snuggles up next to you or your cat curls into your lap, take a moment to pause and notice the sensations of calm and connection.
Let it be a reminder of your capacity to feel safe and connected—with your pet, with others, and with yourself.
Want to deepen your understanding of your nervous system? Download our free guide and start your journey to a more balanced nervous system.
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Julie Goldberg is a licensed therapist and the founder of Third Nature Therapy. Her practice focuses on helping individuals better understand their inner world, befriend their nervous system (instead of working against it), and navigate changing relationships. She offers somatic therapy, EMDR intensives, and Ketamine-Assisted Psychotherapy in Brooklyn, NY.